“The cure for sorrow is to learn something” – Barbara Sher
These words have burrowed themselves in my psyche since I first thumbed open to them in an inspirational flipdeck in my twenties. Upon reading them, I felt something deep in me connect – a visceral affirmation of how I‘ve long engaged with the world.
I am a person prone towards melancholy and bittersweet. For much of my life, in response to this I have sought out solace – in books, albums, statistics, roadtrips, biographies that speak to the human condition, experiences that ignite goosebumps from crown to toe.
I’ve been compiling evidence. I want to know what we are capable of. So that when my fateful moment strikes again, I have an arsenal of awe to combat the doom. It is not the healthiest coping mechanism, but I’ve entertained worse. So this is one I stick with.
This year we find ourselves at the midpoint of – twenty twenty five – is a turbulent one. We the people are tired. We the people need hope. So here is my topical treatment. It is not a solution, just a salve. A composition of seven things I have learned this year. Seven things that activate awe.
My intention for this rolodex of facts is to roll your bones towards hope. And yes, I cite all of my sources at the end because I am a thoroughbred nerd.
Presence on social media is not the same as presence.
In fact, presence on social media can limit our ability to be and feel safe in our own bodies. Research shows that, “repeatedly engaging with trauma-related media content for several hours daily shortly after collective trauma may prolong acute stress experiences and promote substantial stress-related symptomatology.” We are right in the middle of multiple collective traumas. Take care of yourself, your people, and your community. What this looks like for you is probably different than what it looks like for most other people. If you can, make the time to identify how you need to navigate the news in a way that keeps you well. Go with that.
Into the early 1900s, the most research-supported theory for how ecosystems begin and thrive was called mutual aid.
Back then, you could gather all of the world’s ecologists in a single room. There were about 35 of them. Within the course of a single conference, one ecologist basically made a filibuster about why the compelling force must be individualism, not mutual aid. Largely his persuasion, not research, guided the next 50 years of study supporting competition. If a scholar wanted to study mutual aid, they could not get research funding.
My husband is even more patient and compassionate than I knew him to be four months ago.
On a remote beach in Maine, there is a stone labyrinth only visible during low tide.
It lies beneath the surface of the water waiting all other times of day. Someone built this labyrinth laying stone over stone in the salty dark, shaping a spiral. Why they built it? I couldn’t tell you. But when I found it, it had the effect of love. It was an unexpected gift, an invitation from a stranger to enter into presence, gratitude, and wonder.
Moose antlers are the fastest growing tissue of any mammal on this planet.
I first heard the phrase more than human world used to describe the natural world, while listening to a podcast on biomimicry. It resonated so deeply with me. For all of our beauty and complexity, the human condition carries an element of forceful trying that often rubs me the wrong way. Meanwhile it is the nature of moose to grow sturdy and strong. TLDR :: Chill on your gym gains. Eat greens and walk through a pasture.
The title of this piece is in the same neural network as a 2008 Miley Cyrus song.
For me, though I hope I’m not the only one. This, and, inner child healing through intergenerational trauma work is powerful. Break The Cycle by Dr Mariel Buqué is my current guide in this realm. I am working on making my own section of the street as healed and generative as I can. If you are any bit intrigued by what this means, I highly recommend her work.
Rats who are prevented from playing, over-time can no longer tell the difference between friend and foe.
Play is how we learn our limits and witness the character of those around us in real time. Lack of play numbs our innate intuition. Playfulness is not additive; light-heartedness is not fluffy stuff. It is very important stuff. Maybe, just maybe a way to uncross the wires that are so very crossed right now is more goodness, not more difficulty. Not doubling down on agendas and ideology, but being outside with our neighbors on a late summer evening.
If this post did indeed roll your bones towards hope, please consider sharing it with a loved one or multiple loved ones. And if you find yourself able to become a paid subscriber to this publication open, up & out, please do. Mary Grace is working to shape her career more around writing and every ounce of support helps.
As promised, the sources.
Dr Scott Lyons on We Can Do Hard Things Podcast. The NIH research he cites. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24324161/
2. On Being Podcast featuring Janine Benyus and Azita Ardakani Walton. On Nature's Wisdom for Humanity.
3. We had a wedding and bought a home in the same week. My overwhelm was no small load. He carried it with the kindest arms and has continued to throughout DIY home renovations, emotional transition states, and more.
4. If you really want to know the location, I will tell you. I may request your favorite poem in exchange for the intel.
5. Denali Park | National Geographic documentary on Disney+6. Dr Mariel Buqué | Break The Cycle https://www.drmarielbuque.com/breakthecycle
Miley Cyrus | 7 Things7. On Being Podcast featuring Stuart Brown on Play, Spirit, and Character. Research Article: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11239858/